i'm back...

the bar is over... more to come on that later.

until i am finished with my new entry, here is 25 Things About Me: Redux

So, in no particular order, twenty-five random things about me.


1. I miss my mom. Every single day. She is a shell of the woman that raised me to be independent, that told me I could do anything and be anything I wanted, and that taught me to be independent. She did it when being a single mother was still not 'right'. She worked for people who undervalued her work and intelligence and underpaid her for all of it. What is worse is that I do not know how to help her. But, I do know, that for as much as I would like to give up on her because every conversation breaks my heart, I never will. Thank you, AJM, for making me realize that.

2. I fiercely love my families - both the family that is my blood and the family that is my friends. I would do anything for them and guard them with all that I have.

3. I love my cats. They bring me joy and make me laugh incessantly. I am, like Eloise, a crazy cat lady in that regard. There is nothing like unconditional love.

4. I have a male friend. Probably my best friend in the world. He taught me more about what a man can and should be than any other man I know. He gives me unconditional trust and just believes in me, without expectation of anything in return, more than any other man (be he a love, lover, friend, or a relative) I have ever known. He tells me almost daily. He, RAZ, is a gift and I am grateful for him every single day. He has raised the bar and it cannot be lowered.

5. I unapologetically love Madonna. I always have and I always will. I don't care about the semi-scary plastic surgery and botox.

6. I love my boobs, my red hair, and my green eyes. Absolutely love those three things about myself.

7. I have panic attacks. I wake up in the middle of the night fearful of dying and not having done enough in the time I have. They come and go.

8. I have one tattoo. It was a gift from my parents for my birthday. As soon as the artist started I knew I wanted another. It is coming, post law school graduation.

9. I have a brother who is 15 years younger than I am. I love him dearly and I hope he knows that. I love that he moves to the beat of his own drum. I love looking at the world through his eyes. I love how deep he runs, and I wish more people saw this. I love that he is so smart and I hope and pray that he sees how smart he is. I need to spend more time with him.

10. I have a wild, wicked laugh that I inherited from my mom. When I was little, her laugh embarrassed me. I would elbow her constantly and tell her to be quiet.

11. Crazy things run through my crazy red head all day long. I cannot even begin to tell you what they are. Too many. Too crazy. Many are too inappropriate.

12. People need to learn how to use their turn signals when driving. I am not a mind reader. I do not know when and where you will turn, so do me a favor and use the damn thing.

13. I am an ambitious bitch. I plan on using my power for good.

14. I have been lucky to have been the recipient of the wisdom and knowledge and support and love of the most amazing women ever. There are too many to name, but every young girl in this world should be so lucky. They would all then be Slayers, and not just Potentials.

15. I believe in abortion on demand. At any time. Choice is choice.

16. I quit Catholicism after my first communion. I told my mom I wasn't going back. I told her that if God (if one exists) knows everything, then s/he knows what I did wrong and I do not need to go to confession. I also told her that I did not understand why the church put the fear of hell and the wrath of God in you if you don't go to church - when God is supposed to be about love. She did not make me go back.

17. I like aging. I like being able to look at the world through (hopefully) better and wiser eyes. Aging has brought me to a better place with my Dad.

18. I love law school. It was one of the best, if not the best, decision I ever made.

19. I sing all of the time. I cannot help it. The sound of voices in unison moves me inexplicably.

20. I go for long drives when I am in a funk. It clears my head. I like the idea that I can, in a short time, be in some place completely different. I wish that driving did not involve gas or environmental damage.

21. I don't technically have a sister, but I do have a sister. My mom and aunt are smart women. The two of us will never be alone and in a long, long time from now when we are old ladies, we will laugh and cry at the shared memories of the two women who raised us.

22. I snort when I laugh. I try to hide it, but can often fail miserably.

23. My grandmother was a convicted murderer. She was let out of prison because the governor loved her red velvet cake.

24. Carrie belongs with Big. Joey belongs with Pacey. Lorelei belongs with Luke. End of story.

25. I knew Tim would marry Emmi the moment I met her.